Random Thoughts

-Today was a GREAT mail day! I received my Coffee Lovers Cravebox{*} and Influenster Cosmo VoxBox{**}.

-Speaking of mail days, I LOVE December! Lots of fun packages are coming/have all ready been received and the holidays are in full swing. I will show you all how my packages are stacking up once they all get here.

-It feels like Springtime here. I will be so happy when Mr. Winter decides to show up! I'm ready for coats and bundling up and going on Christmas light tours.

-I'm trying to decide what type of Planner I want to use for next year. I love my Erin Condren Life Planner but really don't like the price tag. I've been hearing a lot about May Books. Can someone tell me how this planner is set up? I like using a calendar and having a weekly view so I can write my lists and appointments.

 -I have all most all of my Christmas shopping done!!! My mom, sister and I are all going in on a present for my dad, I have one or two more things to get my sister and I just ordered some lotion for my mom through Birchbox! Hello free points! I think I might get my mom one more thing. I'm still needing to figure out what to get the boyfriend. My Old Navy order has some jeans in it but he needs those like last week!

-If someone could tell me how to get these affiliate links going I would love them forever. Miss Jen is throwing affiliate links every which way and getting free stuff. Hello! I want free stuff too!


 *More on this awesome little box later!!!
**More on this FREE box later in the week! {Who doesn't like free!}
 

30 Day Challenge Day 14

Your Earliest Memory

I really wish I could say I have a good one for this but I really don't. I lot of the things I've done I've seem to have forgotten. This is why I'm glad we have cameras and video recorders.

The one thing I can remember is my sister got this Big Bird Book for Christmas and we had {still have} this box of blocks. I was probably 4 or 5 at the time and my dad and I built this huge castle with the blocks. I say huge but it was probably only two feet tall. For a little kid that's big though! I do remember we used all of the blocks!

These aren't building blocks like kids today have. These are hard, little, different shaped cement blocks. We had all different shapes. Triangles, squares, rectangles, circles and even ones that had arches in them. These blocks were probably one of my parents and they passed them down to us. But I'm not really certain. 

30 Day Challenge Day 10

Discuss Your First Love and First Kiss

First off I want to say that I can't believe it is already Day 10! I can't believe I'm a third of the way done with this challenge. To say this has gotten my blogging brain going would be an overstatement. This really isn't helping to get the "juices flowing" but it is still fun! Maybe after school is over and I'm at my internship {still pending} I will have more things to blog about.

Anyway! On with today's challenge. I will say that my first love and my first kiss were NOT the same person. {I'm actually sort of re-leaved about that.} They were both in High School though. {Not that any of that matters.}

My first kiss was with my "second" boyfriend when I was a freshman in high school. I put second in quotes because it was one of these things where you aren't really serious but think you might be and I was just a kid and really didn't know any better. My "boyfriend" at the time was a junior in high school so we went to separate schools. We met in marching band. He played the baritone and I was in colorguard. One day we were saying good bye so I could ride the shuttle bus that took the freshmen and sophmores to another school. A friend of mine was yelling out the window as we were saying good bye. She was saying kiss him. {We were a little nervous. We obviously had an audience.} We looked at each other and thought what the hell and we went for it. To say it was magical and romantic is an understatement. I don't really remember it but I'm guessing it was kind of sloppy. First kisses aren't usually the best. It takes practice to get things right.

My first love was a mutual friend of friends I had. We met of all places at my {ex} friends church. He was friends with my friends {ex} fiance. I was going to see the play my friend was in and he just happened to be there. We met said hello and then went on our merry way with different friends. It wasn't until another friend of mine introduced us that we actually started hanging out. This was senior year of high school and we were together for 5 years. 

This was the most serious relationship I had ever had. We hung out as much as possible. But, after high school I moved to Kansas for college and he went to Missouri for Basic Training {He's in the Army.} We wrote a TON of letters and talked on the phone every Sunday {that was the only day they were allowed phone calls.} After he got back from Basic and I finished my first year of college we spent almost all summer together. Then I went back up to Kansas for another year of college. We made it through two and a half rough years and I thought he and I were going to be together forever. We could feel that that was supposed to happen. For my third year of college I went to a State school in Oklahoma and he got shipped off to Afghanistan. The summer before that I went to visit him in Louisiana for 4th of July. We got engaged that weekend. I was in heaven. He spent a year and a half deployed and I went to school. The day he got back I was so happy. I had moved back home and was going to our local Community College. I got to see him everyday since I was living at home. He ended up getting an apartment in 2006 and I moved in with him at the beginning of 2007. I didn't realize how much we had changed in the year and a half we were apart. We were heading in two different directions {even though I didn't want to see it.} I ended out relationship in October of 2007.

The one great thing {person} I got out of this relationship is Buddy. He has been by my side from the first day we I got him. He is the one of the loves of my life. My ex and I never got married. We never actually planned a wedding {even though I did buy a wedding dress. It's still hanging in my closet until the big day comes.} 

I am very, very grateful that he and I didn't get married. We would have been miserable and we both don't believe in divorce so we would have been in it for the long haul. 

I am SO happy with my life now! Even though I still have a ton to figure out, I am happy with my boyfriend and where I am. Things are a little scary with graduation being next weekend and not having an internship yet. But, I know I'm headed in the right direction and on the right path.  

30 Day Challenge Day 9

How You Hope Your Future Will Be Like

I feel like I've already answered this with the 10 year question but, I hope my future is adventurous and fulfilling. I don't know what's going to happen but I would like to be married to my best friend whoever that may be and I want to have kids. I'd want us to grow old together and look back and say I had a great life. I would want to see my children get married and to have children of their own. I would like to travel the world and see all the amazing places you read about in history and school. Even if I don't have a lot of friends I would want them to be people who would drop everything for me in a time of need or to just hang out. I know I would do the same for them.  

I think a lot of people want the same things in life. It just takes some people a little bit longer to get to that point in time.

30 Day Challenge Day 5

A Time You Thought About Ending Your Own Life

I really hope no one would think about or actually end their own life but I know people do. I am honestly not one of those people. Yes, I've been through some rough shit and not wanted to be here {in this moment} but actually to end my own life over it? Nope. The things I thought were so "devastating" at the time are only memories or blips now. I will say that I have currently hit rock bottom and am slowly building everything back up emotionally, physically and relationship wise. It is tough and it's going to be tough for a while. No one has a perfect happy life and if they do they are fake and lying. I'm not perfect and I'm not happy 100 percent of the time. But, I'm learning to put on my big girl panties and get through it. By getting through and experiencing the things I have, have made me a stronger person and have made me less of a coward. I'm still learning and still trying to be strong and independent. It takes a long time for that to happen and I'm just starting. Probably 20 years too late but never the less I'm starting. 
 

30 Day Challenge Day 2

Where I'd like to be in 10 years

Ultimately I would like to be married, at a well paying job and have at least one kid in 10 years. With the rate I'm going right now this probably won't happen. I would like to stay home with my kids until they were able to be co-dependent until myself or my husband got home from work. So, in order for this to happen I would have to find a job right after college in something that I enjoyed and work my way up so that with mine and my husbands income combined we wouldn't have to worry about making ends meet. But this is probably a very hard feat to come by. That would mean I would have to figure out where I wanted to live in a matter of months, find a job that allows me to move up in the field of work I'm in and to have enough time at that job under my belt so that if I choose I'm able to come back to it after I raise my kid{s}. I say if Bethany Frankel can do it, I can too.

 

So What Wednesday

It's Wednesday so I'm linking up with Shannon over at Life After I "Dew" for So What Wednesday.

So What If...

• I only seem to blog on Wednesdays. My life doesn't seem that interesting for me to blog about so why put other people through it?

• I didn't get an internship this summer like I was supposed to. I found a job instead and I start next week.

• I need to make a To-Do list so I can actually get things done. {I haven't actually made this list yet}

• I need to clean my bedroom and bathroom. It's definitely a lot cleaner than it has been but things need to get picked up.

• Pretty Little Liars began yesterday and I just got caught up on last season and watched yesterday's episode today.

• I have $50 to my name and am going to visit the boyfriend this weekend. I can make it 2 weeks with no money, right? {I hope so!}

• I am actually looking forward to waking up early on the weekends to go to work. It will at least get me out of the house and give me something to do.

• I'm determined to get an internship next summer in Kansas City. It will get me one step closer to actually living there and the boyfriend and I want to get out of Oklahoma.

What are you saying So What! to?

So What Wednesday!

Today is So What Wednesday at Life After I "Dew" and I'm linking up!


- So What if last night I had a Panera salad instead of a burger like my mom thought I was going to have. {Isn't a salad healthier anyway?}

- So What if I only have a couple of hundred dollars in my bank account. I had a great mini vacay with the boyfriend and I think it was totally worth it! {Sorry Dad!}

- So What if I want to be lazy today {like everyday} but I have to study for a test that's tomorrow, get some homework done, unpack my car from moving and work on my portfolio.

- So What if I want it to be June 3rd right now and still don't have an internship!

- So What if I had an ice cream sundae from Braum's last night and I didn't really need it.


What are you saying So What to???

Monday Ramblings

Trying to find an internship blows! People expect you to follow up with them and contact them first even after you've sent them a resume. Make an effort!!! I get that you all are busy but I know some of you need interns. I have a possibility lined up but even that doesn't look promising! I called the guy today {thankfully getting a hold of him}, to tell me he will call another person so that she can call me to talk about the requirements I'm supposed to fulfill for this damn class. Ugh!!!

On top of that, the boyfriend left for Stillwater last night and is hard at work on summer school. We had the most amazing week's "vacation" and we were both sad to see it end. I only have 20 more days until I get to see him and I'm hoping that it will go fast considering I have school work and am needing to get an effing internship!

I think I need a big glass of wine today.

It’s So What! Wednesday over at Shannon’s Blog Life After “I Dew” and I’m linking up this week.

So What If…

-I have a major project due tomorrow at 1:30 and have barely started it

-I NEED to put myself first before anyone else but I don’t. I like taking care of people. I see no harm in that.

-the above statement is about a certain someone.

-all I want to do is get a coffee from Starbucks and curl up with a good book or sleep

-I have a week and a half til school is over and I haven’t started packing my things

-I need to desperately clean my room but that can wait until the weekend {if I even get one}

-I’m behind {once again} on my shows. I have classes and finals to worry about and don’t have time to watch them yet. {This is why they came up with Hulu}

What are you saying “So What” to…

Why????

Why is it that the people you want need in your life have to leave you?

This is my “dilemma” {if you can call it that.} Things are going swimmingly and then BAM! It hits you like a mack truck going 80 down the highway. You have one crazy, insane, maybe ‘this could be the one’ talk with a person and the next day you realize you won’t see them for 3 very long short months and the fact that you’re moving to your hometown while they stay in the town you’re in now makes it that much harder.

I am scared shitless of what is going to happen in these next 3 months, hell, even the next 9 months to a year. I NEVER thought I could {dare I say it} have such deep feelings, aww shit, love someone as much as I do in SUCH a short amount of time! We talk about the past, present AND future! Yes, we have a TON of “what ifs” but who doesn’t???? I can honestly see myself growing old with this individual and I think he can too. Yes, things are very rocky right now but, I know we can make it through this time in our lives and come out stronger and closer than ever on the other side. I know you probably won’t read this, but if you do, I want you to know that I am here 100 percent and would/will do *anything* for you. You are my comfort, my soul, my rock! I love you SO much! In these 4 short months I have gotten to know and grow with you and I want more than anything to continue to grow with you day after day.